Gullible's Travels: The Koolaid Is Really A Special Blend Of Coffee

Written by LivesInNewJersey

Sunday, 06 December 2009 00:00

gulliblestravels

(Editors Note: See the Gullible's Travels Section In Archives Menu for the entire background story on Live's search (and rescue mission) for the most gullible Knicks fan in the blogoverse. The tale continues.)

THE KOOLAID IS REALLY COFFEE

As usual, I started my day at the computer checking my 250 e-mails. An anonymous someone, a Knicks insider perhaps, had sent me a tip that blew my mind. It was a gift, as though I had been sent the secret to everlasting Gullibility: "the sense of someone who will swallow anything given to him." It revealed the secret formula that Mr. Dolan and his altered ego Dr. Hahn put into Gullible's juice. And all along, I thought it was the koolaid.

I followed these instructions:

1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON OPEN ENJOY!
to start click

COFFEE MACHINE

WOW!! Now I knew Gullible was probably in worse shape than I thought. I checked my med-i-pack to make sure we had enough of the anecdote antidote. Damn. I was out of the strong pills, the ones that just melt the brain chains. I saw that Peaceman, our resident medic, had left a prescription of the very hard to swallow George Karl pill which I would have to get at the equally hard to swallow New York Post. But every once in a while you find the unlikely truth in the most unlikely places. Karl was all truth when he criticized the so-called 2010 plan of cap space promise: "I don't like the philosophy. I don't think it's been a home run. I think you strikeout as often as you hit home runs with it. I praised Donnie Walsh, but the philosophy of what he's trying to do is difficult to coaching, miserable to coaching. It's the philosophy of personnel people that drives me a little crazy."

Shortly after the Karl pill reveal, an observer, who has watched Danilo Gallinari since he was 15 in Europe, offered a little truth about the mishandled development of the Knicks' new marketing centerpiece. In "Being Danilo Gallinari (in the NBA)" at BallinEurope.com the observer wondered what has happened to the European kid who was going to take the NBA by storm? He wrote, "OK, Gallinari's improved a lot, but it's his type of play that doesn't convince at all. What has remained from that wonderful boy able to play the inside-out game, run the floor, and score from either from the low- or the high-post? " No doubt that Gullible could not handle these truths about Walsh and D'Antoni's use of Gallinari without blaming the fans for the condition of the Knicks. (At least Knicks fans will not be as devastated as Blazer fans!)

I believe that every so-called truth about the Knicks from George Karl (the first president of the United Flakes) needs a chaser, to take the sting out, like a little Rasheed Wallace honesty or some Ron Artest provocation. Wallace and Artest, like our own scholar Steady and the Cavs' (Lakers', Heat's and Magic's) Shaq, subscribe to the Scriptologist notion that the NBA is "Nothing But Actors." (But at the NBA's offices in Secaucus, New Jersey, they secretly refer to themselves as "the NBA, Nothing But Attorneys and we ain't scurred of nobody.") Well Wallace ain't scurred of the truth which he let be known when he talked about NBA floppers as poor actors and referees as Sons of Gullible. About the Raptor's Turkoglu he said, "They've got to know that he's a [darn] flopper. That's all Turkododo do,"

Afraid that binder was insufficient, I went to my boy Don, at With Malice, so he could hit me up with some (Almost) Naked Truth by Ron Artest. Usually that Ron Artest shyte is hilariously binding (and why is this dude not a Knick?):

I hear from my people that Ron Artest is not just a wack job; he is a brilliantly successful attention seeker and media hog who did very well academically in high school. Funny thing is that he gives good copy and as crazy as some people think he is, I know of at least one time most guys would trade places with the dude.

artest-photo-shoot

Anyway, I digressed. After the Kimmel show, Ron Ron tried to hook us up in our search for Gullible by setting up a trap to lure Mr. Gullible out of hiding from his fan-blogs. Ron can make you believe anything. He almost got even me when he denied ever appearing on the Jimmy Kimmel show (ROFLMAO). You gotta love the guy that doesn't take himself too seriously.

As convincing as Artest was, in the end he could not get Gullible to come out of hiding. Fortunately, I got another tip that Gullible was hanging out in only the best sports blogs around. Of course, I looked around the KnicksFanaticsblog first, just in case he was right under our noses, but Paul insisted that he was not harboring Gullibles. So I started my best blog search at KissingSuzyKolber, a perennial winner of best blog competitions. And I'm glad I did. I made some good sexy new friends who I'll have to invite to a private screening at a Fanatics Live Blog (LBE). I thought, "so this is what life is like at the best sports blogs, huh. We gotta get us one or two of these."

Sexy Friends at Suzy Kolbers Place

Anyway, despite the beauty in the blogoverse things concerning the Knicks can still get ugly. The Knicks recent rejection of Allen Iverson pissed off a lot of fans, especially those who realize the Knicks are throwing the season away. The fans were even more angry when Donnie Walsh decided to insult their intelligence by telling them that one of the main reasons was so that the Knicks could focus on the development of Eddie Curry. Walsh insisted that Curry's recent 11 minute performance informed management that Iverson would not fit the plan to make Curry a focal point of the offense. I know Gullible was all up in the joint when Walsh said,

"That's part of it, because Eddy is now on the team and we've got to develop a lot of attention to Eddy from a franchise standpoint, because he went out there in 11 minutes and I thought actually changed the game in a lot of ways. Their big guys were having their way with us, which big men do because David (Lee) is not a natural center, and when Eddy went in -- just the fact that he could take the ball and go at them -- I could see they went back on their heels and they weren't the same after that no matter who was playing. I thought he helped us win the game right there. He's got a lot of talent, he's got great size, you can see he's worked on his body tremendously, so yeah, Eddy is a guy we're very high on, and we wanted to work with him."

Of course, Curry has not played much or well since due to a knee injury. Still, some Knicks fans are with the party line. I thought I might find Gullible here but JRSPORTSBRIEF was not drinking the coffee or the koolaid.

Admittedly, I had lost track of time hanging out at the KissingSuzyKolber spa, I mean spot, so I trekked to Seven Seconds or Mess (7SOM) in about seven seconds or less and ran into more evidence that the Knicks were intentionally blowing the season. D'Antoni may be acting like there is a "D" in his name and some "D" in his game plan, but I saw the tape that says he is a mere illusionist. He has been so bad at introducing more than the word "defense" to his team that he has resorted, ineffectively, to a Y-League trick -- the zone. 7SOM shows us how well that is working out.

After I picked up that video, I thought it might be a good idea to catch D'Antoni at the team (coaches and players only) dinner to question him about his "D" and to find Gullible, perhaps under the card table hosted by Nate Robinson. First, I was surprised that Robinson, the new pariah for the Knicks, was allowed to play any games at all. Second, I learned while there that some of the players were gulping, no one was drinking the koolaid or the coffee.

Once again, I was a step behind Gullible for real. For a moment, I was despondent and depressed, but Dime Mag dialed in and reminded me that I shouldn't take my failure to find Gullible too seriously because the truth will find him wherever he is. To help my spirits more than my search Dime gave me the Fun Police.

Even LeBron, who's every move, including some dance moves, is being watched by Gullible, got into the spirit of fun until a jealous Joakim Noah tried to arrest the rise of joy.

After the game, I followed Noah, at a good distance, to the locker room because I was sure that Gullible was around somewhere. I knew he would be angry at Noah and might try to jack him up on the sly for messing with the 2010 Plan in the flesh. But, of course, I was stopped by security at the locker room door. Just to be cautious I looked around in some nooks and cranny's and tight spaces. I didn't see Gullible, but I did catch a couple of turtle's in a dark corner. I wonder what that was all about?