Even a seemingly delightful trip induced by OTP Peyote, wasn't enough for Covetous to locate Gullible. Gullible's in a special place. A seemingly delirious mental state of. "Herbana!" A state induced by OTP peyote but supplemented by something Covetous couldn't quite put his finger on. Sure, Covetous' investigative background yielded to that magic Peyote Cactus. But logic interrupted that sweet vision of free agent big men and contraction. A bad trip ensued with the New Jersey Nets, winning multiple additions from a contraction induced lottery. Covetous still tripping thinks to himself "what about restricted free agents in a contraction scenario? Shouldn't they be allowed to become de facto free agents? Oh, . . . the joy is gone. I don't want to head towards another bad trip. What was it that Gullible took with that Peyote that took him to Herbana?"

[All of a sudden it dawns on Covetous that gullible downs everything he has with a shot of . . . ]

"Koolaid! That's it. Talk about making me sick, and sending me off into an eerie feeling. I fought the bad trip but in order to locate Gullible I have to abandon all logic. So that makes Koolaid the item I need to get to Herbana. I hate that stuff but I better down some before the Peyote wears off. Talk about making me nauseous. I'm going to be sick!

Prologue - Working schmoe Joe and away we go!

It was a cold and gloomy day. Yet again a mix of snow and rain had hit the tri-state area. A cup of extra hot Joe in my hand and the elusive Gullible Fanatic was in my crosshairs.

The  three game winning streak that put the Knicks back on track after their "dream weak" proved to be less dreamy got me plenty of leads on Gullible. During the win streak he was said to be spotted in the Garden after the Knicks wins over the Pacers and Spurs. I snapped a shot of Gullible after the Knicks had the Spur's pulling a Roberto Duran "No Mas." The Garden was ecstatic and Gullible was out and about again with many talking about the hometown Knicks as legit. Gullible was again spotted loud and proud as the Knicks walloped the Phoenix Suns.

Amidst a crowd of Knicks' fans, Gullible was back at it. Talking up a storm. Partying with a Koolaid martini in hand. I overheard him, as he appeared to be punch drunk. His bravado at its utmost. He was shouting out how Stoudemire and the current knicks team was good enough to win it all. After a near stumble and a brief pause he added, "with a few tweaks here and there." He boasted about the flexibility of D'Antoni's roster and the Knicks coach's ability to effectively interchange the stable of stretch wings and fours. He bantered about the lethal combination of Knicks guard Raymond Felton and franchise star Amar'e Stoudemire.  Gullible appeared to grow bigger and louder with each win especially after the Knicks walloped the even smaller Phoenix Suns.

I promised myself I would catch Gullible in LA, even if I had to fight through the crowd of Knicks fans gathering up in an uproarious storm around him. In LA the Lakers clobbered the Knicks like a baby seal. All of a sudden Gullible disappeared, yet again. I figured that a demonstrable win against the Portland Trailblazers would be followed up by some "easy wins" against the likes of the upcoming Kings, Suns and Rockets. Perhaps that would bring Gullible back out into the lime light. Instead the Knicks followed up a loss to the Utah Jazz by getting smacked by the Kings and then getting stepped on by a Suns team seeking payback. Three more losses followed and a six game losing streak forced Gullible back into further seclusion, perhaps in an underground bunker like the one Dick Cheaney uses on the down low.

I thought to myself why would Gullible up and disappear yet again. The Knicks are still a 7th seed in the Eastern Conference playoff race. They are still playing above .500 basketball and having their best season in a decade. What happened to my cousin who too often is punch drunk on Knicks loving koolaid?

Covetous Fanatic fixes his private eyes on the latest OTP. Quick tune that 70's porn music!

As all already know Covetous Fanatic is Gullible's little brother, and as such he has decided to step up to the fore to redeem (or at the very least vindicate) his brother's dubious name. Because, Gullible's foolish ritual produced a vindictive Cukoobron as part of a nefarious triumvirate, Covetous is charged with preparing the Knicksdefense against KukooBron's domination of the basketball universe. There fore Covetous must muster a counter triumvirate to check the power of CukooBron and his dastardly brethren.

Gullible Fanatic Stripped down to his cap space skivvies prior to the Cuckoobron Scryptocolypse. Seems like that Cap Space Plan had no clothes all along.

"Gullible's Travels" is the tale of our inter-netional hero LivesInNewJersey's never-ending search for the most trusting and naive New York Knicks fan in the blogoverse. The target's code-name is "Gullible Fanatic." His user-name, "ReallyGullibleMuthaFunker", like his common sense, is owned by the person or persons who use him to spread the lies of 2010.

Gullible has been brainwashed, duped and hoodwinked. He has been sucker-punched in the brain through a little known procedure called a LeBronotomy. It is said by undiscloseable sources that the Alter Ego of James Dolan a/k/a Mr. Dolan/Dr. Hahn took a page from the Tuskegee experiment, during which the US government sanctioned giving sexually transmitted disesases (a/k/a pidoky) without the sex to healthy black men; and subsequently denied them the known cure in favor of placebos. The difference here is that Mr. Dolan/Dr. Hahn don't discriminate, they give the placebos to suckers of all races, creeds and low levels of basketball IQ.

The Problem? Mr. Dolan/Dr. Hahn's many minions, including the corporate (Newsday), the human (Mike D'Antoni) and the cartoonish ("the Turtle") ones, injected poor Gullible multiple times with a foul strain of H1AndOne which results in the Hoopless Cough Disease and an even fowl-er version of the rooster booster shot to prevent the viral effects from wearing off too quickly.

Due to the spread of the virus to the occipital lobe, Gullible believes that a a man (and his general manager) can live on cap space alone. Gullible also believes that coaches who can use the word "defense" in a sentence are defensive geniuses and great motivational speakers. Gullible believes that trade rumors prove that a general manager is trying to make a team better. In other words, Gullible is a really sick dude-- but more significantly, like Newsday, he is a carrier.

Lives' mission is to travel the blogosphere from website to blog-site to website to find Gullible and return him here to Knicks Fanatics for intervention treatment; procedures to be jointly led by Peaceman and Statesman. In the name of truth, justice and the Fanatic way, Lives must find him and bring him back alive to prevent the spread of Gullible's disease.

Unfortunately, it seems that Lives is always one step behind Gullible. Lives suspects that Gullible spends most of his time at certain fan-boy blogs (we will not utter the names of these Knicksblogs for fear of cross-cultural roasting, posting and toasting contamination), but as tall as Gullible is he can hide in the mountain of ABS at these venues of myths, lies and you tube videotapes. Lives tends to frequently lose the trail and get caught up in some weird places and situations. Following is the disjointed log of Lives' most recent travels around the blogosphere as he chases the elusive Gullible. Enjoy.

I have been searching high and higher throughout the blogoverse (the ever expanding blogosphere) for our friend Gullible Fanatic. I wanted to ask him personally, face to face, whether he actually believed all that he had been hearing the last two years about how the Knicks would reboot their fortunes by creating cap space for the Big Spend in 2010.

In my deepest and most melodic Gil Scott Heron voice, I want to ask "Do You Believe That?" I even wrote down how I would start the conversation with Gullible who is known to get a bit irate if you challenge what he calls "faith in Knicks management":

Hey, in this summer of our malcontent

Where the objective is not to be underspent

and we build a team of players for rent

To fit under the cap by twenty-ten (2010)

They sell us this line w/ little dissent

"Our fortunes will change when LeBron gets in

Or Wade or Bosh is our cap-space occupant"

Do you believe that?

Do you believe that the stars will go where they can win,

Or do you believe they will agree to start all over again?

While we commit the unoriginal sin

Of building from without (a team) instead of from within

Do you believe that?

Well, I know Gullible will laugh at me and dismiss my concerns as impatience when I finally catch up with him. He believes that any move is acceptable so long as the ultimate goal of cap space is achieved. Nevermind that cap space does not take the court. Nevermind that the Knicks are unlikely to have enough cap space to give a max contract to a franchise player and attract solid support players. Nevermind that under the current CBA, championship contenders are not built through cap space -- they are built by manipulating the cap rules, through the draft and trades. The evidence is abundant and clear.

Gullible will probably ignore me and continue to insist that the Knicks will get lucky and David Kahn will help us build our team by generously forking over Slicky Ricky Rubio to run the offense. I will ask Gullible what happened to the false belief that Mike D'Antoni would attract free agents like Jason Kidd, Steve Nash and Kobe Bryant because they liked working with him? Gullible will probably say that Donnie Walsh didn't really want those guys. I'll ask him "Do you believe that the flirtations with Stackhouse and Tinsley were smart? He'll ignore me and tell me to focus on the draft of young potential potentates JHill and Toney Douglas.

Nevertheless, I must catch up with Gullible to help synchronize Knick fandom with reality, because only together can we begin to put pressure on our team to build a winner the right way. Yes, I too may be Gullible (or Gullible's cousin) to believe that Knicks management will care what I say about their strategy, but I do know that alone I have no impact. Our only chance for change is to unite with all the Gullibles to put force behind our demands for a winning strategy.

So, I continue my search of Gullible Fanatic. Gullible moves quickly, both figuratively and actually. We all know that he changes his opinion at warp speed so that it fits his pro-Knick management conclusions (i.e. Knicks offer Kidd a contract which invades 2010 cap space. "Great move Walsh." Kidd rejects the offer. "Great move, Walsh didn't want him anyway"). Gullible also moves from one blogstation to another rapidly, but he leaves a trail of stench as wide as an asteroid tail. I'm on it.

My first stop was the "gottaread at least once in a while" Knicksfansite Posting and Toasting where we find Lord Seth pining over the positives he found in Gallo's 412 minutes of professional ball. Gullible was definitely here and he had a crater-type impact. Apparently, he dropped some magic dust on 84% of 514 poll voters who stated that they had faith in Gallo as a star player in the 2009-2010 Knicks roster.

Strangely, I understand how they can believe that Gallo will be a star this upcoming season, despite coming off major back surgery in April and not playing real ball over the summer; despite him not possibly being in D'Antoni game conditioning; despite not really having a rookie season; despite not playing with his 2009-2010 teammates for an extended period to develop chemistry, I can understand why they would have faith that Gallinari would be a star this year. Anybody that can shoot a perfect form Wii jumper like the Rooster should have no problem averaging 24ppg, 6rpg and 5apg in his first real NBA season.

Somehow, I think Gullible had the advantage since I was trailing him. It occurred to me that he was trying to make me a believer when he took me to this impressive Gallo summer league interview.

It was only an interview, But. I thought that if Gallinari could play as good as he sounded there was a chance that Lebron would want to play with him, Chandler and whoever else the Knicks could afford with left-over cap space. How can you not cheer for Gallo, I thought?

I think I accidentally ignited the random search engine when I thought about cheering because it lead me off course, at hypertense-warp speed, to a cheer-leading squad, that was not the Miami Heat Dance Crew. This is how they do what they do in New Jersey.

I looked into the New Jersey crowd and I didn't see anyone who looked like Gullible. In fact, I didn't really see anyone because most of the Gullible Nets fans were in Brooklyn waiting for the new stadium to be built. Perhaps that explains why the Nets dance team looks so mature in anticipation of when the move will actually happen.

I asked the computer to take me to a more thrilling dance team, but perhaps I should have been more specific. Somehow I ended up in a prison in the Philippines stuck in the middle of a Michael Jackson tribute.

That was definitely a thriller, but Gullible was not there either. Perhaps, if I go back in time, I thought, I could catch Gullible. I told the computer to take me to the 2009 NBA draft where I knew Gullible would be, waiting for the Knicks to draft Ricky Rubio or Stephen Curry despite much evidence that it was not going to happen. I fell right into the Green Room with Louisville swingman Terrence Williams, a good friend of recently media-convicted traffic menace Nate Robinson.

 

Terrence Williams, Twill, Nets #11 draft pick 6-6 Swingman

 

I enjoyed Twill's guided tour through the draft where he was picked at the 11th spot by the New Jersey Nets, (I wonder how he'll like the Dance Team), but I could not find Gullible because there were so many disappointed look-a-likes when Curry and Rubio left the board before the Knicks drafted Jared Hill. I think Gullible snuck out through the press room where they were serving brownies, cheese and alka-seltzer water. Still, it was amazing to see all these young boys right before they were to become millionaires.

As Jony Flynn expressed, the draft is such a special time, a culmination of a lot of hard work and dedication. Unfortunately, given all the accolades and good fortune these youngins are facing now, it is inevitable that someone on the bus is eventually demonized by the same media that promotes and exalts them.

From our friend RichyRich at "the best damn sports comedy" blog, I found the list of most hated athletes and amazingly the top eight are either black or Latino, which led me to real world redemption for one of the most hated athletes of all-time -- Jack Johnson.

It took a racially motivated conviction to defeat and destroy the career of flamboyant and culturally defiant boxer Jack Johnson, the first African-American world heavyweight champion. Now Congress is poised to erase that defeat from the record books. The Senate and the House passed a concurrent resolution encouraging the president to give Mr. Johnson a posthumous pardon for his conviction and one year prison sentence for violation of a law prohibiting the transportation of a woman across state lines for immoral purposes -- in his case, having sex with a white woman.

Once again, I could not find Gullible, but I found redemption. With that theme in mind, I felt a kind heart towards the Knicks. It may take another five years, but my team will be a contender again. There is nothing wrong with faith, but I still believe that some use faith as an excuse for rejecting responsibility for one's Fanaticism. It is still my responsibility as a fan to tell my team that my faith and fanaticism deserves honest nurturing, care and love from the targets of my affection.

So, I will head back to Knicks.com and leave the following message for Gullible and Donnie Walsh. Build my team, but I don't want . . .

"No Scrubs"

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me And is also known as a buster Always talkin' about what he wants And just sits on his broke no game ass So (no)

I don't want your low numbers (no) I don't want to give you mine and (no) I don't want to meet you nowhere (no) I don't want none of your time and (no)

[Chorus:] I don't want no scrub A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me Hanging out the passenger side Of his best friend's tryin to steal a ride Trying to holler at me from a winning team I don't want no scrub A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me Hanging out the passenger side Of his best friend's

tryin to steal a free ride Trying to holler at me from a winning team

But a scrub is checkin' me But his game is kinda weak

PEACE.

Previous Related Posts:

(Editors Note: See the Gullible's Travels Section In Archives Menu for the entire background story on Live's search (and rescue mission) for the most gullible Knicks fan in the blogoverse.  The tale continues.)

THE KOOLAID IS REALLY COFFEE

As usual, I started my day at the computer checking my 250 e-mails.  An anonymous someone, a Knicks insider perhaps, had sent me a tip that blew my mind.  It was a gift, as though I had been sent the secret to everlasting Gullibility: "the sense of someone who will swallow anything given to him."  It revealed the secret formula that Mr. Dolan and his altered ego Dr. Hahn put into Gullible's juice.  And all along, I thought it was the koolaid.

I followed these instructions:

1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON OPEN ENJOY!
to start click

COFFEE MACHINE