(Knicks Fanatics Admin: ROFLMAO. Very Funny)
1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food African. "Who made the potato salad? 'Is it egg in there?' Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it? Ask one more question and Peaceman will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything but soup.
2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your ass down until the Village Ambassador Orange & Blue or someone with sense makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them damn pecans and walnuts to hold you over until the Ghost of Orange & Blue or BARF (if he shows up) brings you a damn plate.
3. If you have kids under the age of twelve Like HarlemMD n'em, Lives the Admin will escort their little asses to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear this damn house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle GeorgeM, TMan, Kevin Harewood or StatesMen to start telling old NYK stories about the glory days, Bradley, DaveD, Holtzman, Bernard King, Ewing and Oakley. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that--they are bleeding to death cause Augie will break a foot off in their asses!
4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your BBall Star daughter made the WNBA Sparks BronxMD or your wife just got on the cover of Sports Illustrated DLT. Save that talk for somebody who gives a damn. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up Cooleyhigh, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes. Furthermore, you ain't gettin' no ice from the punch bowl.
5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds Modi! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy ass home next year!
6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE PAUL!! Don't let the Village catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that we will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let us catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding.
7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave the Penthouse with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF THE BLOGUIN DOOR!!!
8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from Blog to Blog Anti. We know you is a Blog ABS. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER ! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her.. After 24 hours, VicBit will call DHS on your ignorant ass!!
9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN POST-UP PRINCE!! They ain't want your DNA on our goose down comfys and pillow-top mattresses like you got at your own stately estate. Bring your own quilts. There will be no sleeping over at the Penthouse! You are to come and eat dinner and take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.
10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON Jay Bee!! This is not a soup kitchen. We ain't trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be
supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Ed Drossman and his repeatin' greedy ass family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET DaVonn Jefferson! Wait until the Black Mamba get here and we may do sum'n!
Steady Bloguin! The character references are not personal but just a figment of your blog DNA.